When CHANGE Made Me Stuck
Recently I had a lot of change happen to me in a two year span. I got divorced, became an empty nestor, sold my house where I had lived for 23 years, decided to go back to grad school and completely changed my career. And all while this was happening, my Dad died and that is when I got stuck. And I mean really stuck. I thought I was going along and managing all this change fairly well, until I wasn’t, and that is when I felt really broken.
The divorce I was in became more challenging. I began to not focus well. A year went by and I felt I was at a standstill. My Coaching Business was not thriving like I wanted it to, and I was the reason. I just could not move forward.
I knew there were others out there like me. There had to be. I gave myself permission to be sad and ineffective. Some weeks were good and some were just not. This entire process went on for about a year. Until I got sick of it.
I wanted to be effective. I wanted to go out with friends and be happy. I wanted to travel, exercise, focus, and use my gifts and strengths to live my best life. I wanted to be a great Mom again to my two young adult daughters. I wanted to be the best Coach possible for others who wanted to make a CHANGE.
And that is when it happened for me. I started to CHANGE because I wanted to, not because anyone else was telling me I needed to or had to.
This wasn’t a fast process. I used my staircase metaphor. Some days the climb felt fast and good, and sometimes I only got up one stair and it felt hard and slow. And sometimes I just had to sit down and rest for awhile.
This is what I know about CHANGE. CHANGE is not linear. It doesn’t just go a long smoothly. CHANGE is much like a climb to the top of the staircase. CHANGE can flow or pull us, depending on our resistance to it. We may move up the staircase quickly or slowly or we may need to sit down and take a rest at times. The pace of CHANGE does not matter, just how we get there.
CHANGE is forward movement, one step at a time. Although I Coach for CHANGE, I am not finished with my own journey and my own climb to the top of my staircase. After a period of some mental darkness, I am back at managing my own CHANGE, one step at a time.
Carla Kerner is a Professional Transitional and Business Coach working to support clients manage and navigate CHANGE through listening beyond what is being said, providing motivation and accountability each step of the way, and for finding discovery of what works authentically for each individual, team, or group.